Letting go of controlling other people’s perception.
Let go of controlling other people’s perception. After all, you’re really not in charge of that anyway.
While you can certainly put your best foot forward and do your best to be excellent in all you do, it’s not ultimately within your control to manage someone else’s mindset about who you are.
Sad, but true.
Hard, but true.
You can psychoanalyze until the cows come home about how to present your message in the best possible light, but the bottom line is, you’re not going to get it right 100% of the time in a way that appeals to all people.
If you’re doing life and showing up, you’re going to get the messaging wrong at times. You’re going to put yourself out there and realize how you should have said something differently.
Does it mean you shouldn’t have tried? Or that, you’ve blown it? Does it mean you’ve made a fool of yourself in front of everyone?
Fear would have you believe so. Fear would have you believe that you’ve messed up and you’re not worthy because of it. Fear will have you reading everyone’s minds and condemning yourself in each of their sights.
In the words of my amazing friend and coach, Marie Cochran, “You could do everything right, and people will still find a way to judge you.”
So imagine when you get it wrong....
Two of her other famous words come into play here. They are the two words that changed my life in 2019. Now, get ready for them. They’re profound.
So. What.
Yep, that’s what she said.
So, going back to ‘getting it wrong’.
So. What.
That’s what’s going to happen if you’re trying AT ALL in this life.
You ARE, in fact, going to get it wrong occasionally, and even more likely, if you’re choosing courage and bravely stepping out into things, you’re going to get it wrong....regularly.
We hate the thought of it. People who struggle with perfectionism like me, really hate the thought of it.
Not because we want anyone to think we’re perfect. In fact, the total opposite is true. We know we are SO far from perfect, that the thought of getting it wrong feeds our deepest insecurities.
But if you are wading into the waters of life, and getting further than ankle deep, then you’re going to eventually face the cold, hard, slap of the waves hitting you.
The immersion of walking into something bigger then yourself, something you cannot control, feels terrifying. I get it.
Matthew 8:27,
“The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"
That ocean you’re stepping into, in the form of - A new job. Promotion. Family. Relationship. Ministry. Calling. Dream. Goal.
Though it may be bigger than you and the footsteps beyond your ability to fill. Know this.
Philippians 1:6,
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Plus....ultimately....it’s really not about you anyway. It’s about Him. So any fear of failure or looking the fool needn’t be wasted here.
Bottom line: You’re going to get it wrong at times. You can’t control someone else’s mind about how they choose to view you.
Choose faith over fear.
Choose to move forward perfectly imperfect.
Start messy.
Choose courage.
Release yourself from the fear of being misunderstood.
Be obedient to what God has called you to, even if it means being misunderstood.
We all have a calling. Everyone’s gifting is valuable and important. Every role is needed.
In the midst of my own panic mode of suddenly wondering if any of my messaging is wrong, let this remind both you and I that, putting yourself out there to pursue what God has laid on your heart is and always will be, a work in progress.
Let the progress begin, and continue, but don’t let the fact that it’s a work in progress, rather than the finished, polished version, be the reason you hold back from putting out into the world what you He’s called you too.
He is bigger than the wind and waves you feel coming at you. He is greater. 💛